


Little White Lies

by LibbyWrites



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Casual sex vs love making, Dirty Talk, Lyric Wheel Challenge, M/M, One Shot, Or not, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:31:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibbyWrites/pseuds/LibbyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's night out to forget the one man that refuses to leave his thoughts ends up going completely wrong and completely right at the same time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little White Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the song Little White Lies on the [1D Lyric Wheel Challenge](http://1dlyricwheel.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. The challenge consists of writing a little fic, including at least three lines from the song they select for each writer. The lines can't be sung or be part of a poem, they have to be either narration or dialogue.
> 
> As always, I need to thank my beta, my muse and inspiration, [Marea](http://archiveofourown.org/users/marea707/pseuds/marea707). 
> 
> PS: I wish I owned these boys but I don't, so please don't sue me. This work is pure fiction. Pls.

Harry had brilliant ideas when he really put his mind to it; Liam had to admit as much. Maybe bringing him to a gay club was not going to solve all of his problems, but at least he could take his mind off them for a little while, right?

The place was completely packed, the dancefloor a mess of bodies dancing and moving and grinding against one another. For the moment Liam was content sitting on a stool at the bar, drinking some colorful sweet drink, trying not to think of the reasons that made him need a night out like this, considering going to clubs was not really his thing. Most people went to gay clubs to find someone to hook up, and that wasn’t really what he liked. He was always a romantic soul, in spite of all the heartbreak he had to suffer in his life; one night stands and casual hookups always felt boring and cold and meaningless (and maybe that’s why he never had one, as unbelievable as that may seem for a gay guy in this day and age). That’s why being in that club was kind of hilarious and sad at the same time. He was at a place where people often went to look for sex, trying to get his mind off how desperately he wanted to get laid. With one person in particular. A stranger he met three months ago.

~

_The new guy just showed up one day, one Monday that was supposed to be like any other Monday at work._

_Liam had a decent job at a very important record label and the money was enough to rent a decently sized apartment in a nice part of town. Life was going pretty good, or at least as good as possible, given the circumstances. It was probably the first time in a long time that Liam felt like he could actually be satisfied with where he was in life. High school and the incessant bullying were long gone, college and the stress of being far from home were just a memory, and the shitty relationships he could count with the fingers of one hand were definitely in the past. He was pretty much at peace with himself._

_Until Zayn showed up._

_Fucking Zayn…_

_Zayn with his never-ending eyelashes, Zayn with his dorky smile and his dangerous eyes, Zayn with his relentless innuendo and his ink and the stupid way he moved, Zayn with his knack for making Liam want to break all of his rules. Stupid Zayn, looking like a greaser wet dream, with his raven black quiff and his leather jacket, freshly hired as an intern; “eager to work and very brilliant” as their boss, Anna, explained with an obvious interested twinkle in her eyes. Liam knew he was fucked, from the beginning. Zayn’s overwhelming presence at the office would be difficult to avoid. Fuck._

_That very first day, their game started. Or, well, Zayn started it, after a few hours of throwing glances (from Zayn’s side) and hiding blushes (from Liam’s) every time their eyes met. Zayn finally cornered Liam in the bathroom and when Zayn kissed him, Liam found it impossible to stop it. It was the first time someone made him feel something so intense in years, with just a kiss. It was intoxicating in the best and worst way at the same time. However, when Zayn begged for something more, promising filthy things in Liam’s ear, Liam ran away. No one night stands. No sex with strangers. Those were his rules. Those were always his rules. He needed love, not sex._

~

Liam groaned at the memory and turned around on his stool, focusing on his beer and on the rows of bottles against the mirrored wall of the bar. That’s where Harry found him a while later. “You look bored, Li.”, Harry complained. Of course Harry looked like he was having the time of his life, big smile plastered on his face, dimples in full display, hair disheveled and a sheen of sweat on his skin.

“Nah, ‘m good.” Liam promised, smiling. It wasn’t t really a lie. At least not for the most part.

Harry shook his head, frustrated, taking the almost empty glass from Liam’s hand, slamming it on the bar top. “Good is unacceptable, come on, let’s go dance.” Liam went willingly when Harry dragged him to the dance floor because he knew Harry too well and was sure there was no way of changing Harry’s mind. Also because maybe Harry was right, dancing would help him at least burn off all the extra energy.

They found a spot in the middle of the dancefloor and Liam tried to follow the beat, dancing in front of his friend, trying not to look around because there were way too many people making out and grinding against each other. That was not something he wanted to think about.

~

_From then on, it was always the same, this tug-o-war game they played. It was kind of infuriating, if Liam had to be honest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone messed with his head and his body like Zayn did, if it ever happened at all._

_Part of the problem was that Zayn never did anything to stop the little game, much on the contrary. Zayn never stopped flirting, never stopped tempting Liam. But the worst problem was that Liam never stopped it either. The attention felt too good to ignore and Liam was weak, rules or not._

_He tried to resist, but a week later, he absolutely let Zayn push him up against a wall when they were alone in the kitchen. He decidedly kissed Zayn back, only fleeing when Zayn’s hand landed on his crotch. After that, it just kept happening. Zayn would tempt him for days, looking at him with purpose and flirting in front of everyone and sending him little dirty notes until he practically sensed Liam was desperate for something, some relief, and then he kissed Liam again in some dark corner. And Liam let him. Liam enjoyed it. They didn’t even talk, didn’t even share anything but desperate make out sessions every now and then that ended with Zayn promising more, promising amazing things, and Liam running away, horny and hating his determination._

_The first time that same determination slipped, was when they were hidden in the bathroom one Friday morning, making out like teenagers. Zayn toyed with his zipper while he nibbled his neck, and Liam couldn’t stop him. Zayn unbuttoned his trousers, and Liam bit his neck. Zayn shoved his hand inside, gripping his cock, and Liam drowned a moan. And still he didn’t stop him. What Zayn gave him was too delicious; probably the best kisses of his life, the best touches, the filthy words whispered in his ears were always the best fuel, and that time… Zayn’s touch was just too perfect and Liam was too horny and desperate so he let himself go, coming way too soon in Zayn’s fist. He desperately returned the favor, loving the weight of Zayn in his hand, loving the sounds and faces Zayn made while coming, and from then on, their game just became a lot more complicated._

~

Dancing worked, for a bit. The DJ was actually decent and seemed to be on a roll, playing songs Liam liked, songs that took his mind off reality for a bit. Soon enough he lost Harry in the crowd when a shorter guy with bright blue eyes dragged him away. Liam let him go, he didn’t mind being alone all that much, he knew how to take care of himself. Besides, he remembered he loved this, dancing like this, losing himself in the music and burning off energy when he was younger, when he was happier.

The effect dancing had on him was apparently intact, and Liam got lost in the music, enjoying the way it made him feel, until he noticed a guy dancing on him. He opened his eyes and found a blonde stranger in front of him. He looked cute enough, and for a moment Liam danced along, trying to keep his mind off the memories that the alcohol was failing at keeping at bay.

~

_The adrenaline of finding little moments to hide away with Zayn and steal orgasms from each other was so addictive Liam found it hard to stop, almost impossible to resist. Still, he kept refusing to go further. His entire body screamed for more, and every time he felt like giving up, he reminded himself that he barely knew Zayn, that the only thing between them was this ridiculous attraction and chemistry and that it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t because they barely talked to each other. It wasn’t because he didn’t even know Zayn. It wasn’t because he heard Niall the other day say Zayn loved fucking around and had zero interest in being with anyone. It wasn’t because actual sex with a perfect stranger was cold and sad and stupid and not at all what Liam wanted. He just kept finding excuses in his head to keep Zayn away, to never make what they had more than what it was, never meeting outside of the office, never going anywhere, never taking it beyond kisses and handjobs and the occasional blowjob, hating his own weakness because the truth was he should just stop what they were doing. He just couldn’t._

_Months of playing their game completely messed the peace Liam worked so hard to achieve. He felt lonelier and hornier than ever. He had trouble sleeping because he dreamt of Zayn so often it was embarrassing. He found himself completely hooked by everything Zayn did, everything Zayn said, every kiss, every touch and every orgasm becoming the center of his attention, all the time, to the point of obsession. He started counting down the minutes to see Zayn again and hide with him somewhere._

_Liam was losing his mind, and it wasn’t okay. It took him a lot of work to achieve the relative peace he had in his life. His last relationship had taken away every last ounce of sanity, peace and self-respect he had left, and it took tremendous effort to get them back. It was fucking shameful, really, having given his heart away like he did with Wayne (like he always did with everyone he loved, to be honest), making plans and thinking about a future, sharing a home and a heart only to find out he was being cheated on. Again, and again, and again. And his friends always tried to keep Liam from coming back but it was hard not to, it was hard just giving up on everything. That took a terrible toll on Liam’s heart. True to his despicable nature, Wayne had the nerve of dumping him after two years together, and even after all he did he still blamed Liam for it. Only now, three years later, Liam finally felt he was kind of whole again (or as whole as a single serial monogamist and hopeless romantic can be). He was learning to live with his broken heart and the scars the past left._

_Those three years of depression and loneliness and sexual frustration were interrupted by Zayn. Those three years felt like being dormant, like being numb, numb to feelings, numb to sexual desire, numb to the world, and all of a sudden Zayn appeared and stirred everything back to life. All the numbness was interrupted by all the things Zayn made him feel so intensely, and it was terrifying. It was terrifying to think of finally giving in to what Zayn was offering and the possibility of not having it mean anything, again. Of having to share a man with the world, again. Of feeling things that were never going to be mutual, again._

_So Liam kept refusing all the things Zayn offered, and wondered every day why the hell Zayn still kept dancing their dance, still kept looking for him, even when he knew Liam would never really give in._

~

The blonde guy was nice. Too nice, actually. He kept kind of a decent distance while dancing, he smiled all the time, he never touched Liam where he shouldn’t. Shouting over the music the guy introduced himself as Matt. Wow, even his name was boring. Liam kept dancing but he got distracted easily. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was strong, rough hands, hazel eyes dark with lust, plush lips whispering unspeakable promises and warm skin inked all over. At first, back when this thing with Zayn had just started, he kept making a great effort to keep these fantasies out of his mind. Now, he was at a point of no return. He knew it was pointless trying to stop, so he just let it happen; he let the memories of Zayn fill his mind, he let himself want things he knew he shouldn’t want, he let himself fall down a dangerous spiral of need, one that had no end in sight.

It wasn’t the first time he considered actually listening to Zayn. When the fantasies left him sweaty and horny on the dancefloor, in front of this blonde stranger, he considered maybe Zayn was right, all he needed was sex, meaningless, hot, fun sex with anyone that was willing, anonymous sex he could enjoy free of guilt, but…

~

_“Don’t knock it till you try it, babe. We have fun. We could have a lot more fun. We’re amazing together, aren’t we? I just wish you would explain it to me.”, Zayn whispered in his ear, post orgasmic bliss making his voice syrupy sweet and slow, which was quite the feat considering he had been deep throating Liam just a few seconds ago._

_Liam chuckled, licking his bitten lips, finally opening his eyes, still dizzy from his orgasm. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand, okay? You’ll laugh at me.” Liam whispered back, letting his body relax against the bathroom wall, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s shoulders to keep him close just a minute longer, even if he knew that closeness meant shit._

_“Try me…” Zayn dared him, and fuck… Hell would freeze over the day Liam backed away from a dare like that._

_“I like it when it means something.” Liam began with a sigh, shrugging but keeping his arms around Zayn’s shoulders. “I like it when I have a pair of arms that still want to hold me when it’s over. I like staying the night and doing it all over again in the morning and knowing I can do it as many times as I want because it means more than just pleasure; it’s a way of showing what I feel. What we feel.”_

_Surprisingly, Zayn didn’t laugh. He just looked at Liam with clear curiosity in his eyes. “So you mean you don’t wanna have sex with me because you’re waiting for Prince Charming?” he asked, confused._

_“Don’t be mean” Liam scolded him, rolling his eyes so hard his head hurt._

_Zayn laughed a little laugh, and shook his head. “I’m not being mean, babe. I’m just asking. It’s fine if you want Prince Charming, I’m just saying you’re allowed to have fun while you wait, right?” he asked, and Liam didn’t answer. In part because Zayn didn’t let him, planting a dirty kiss on his lips. In part because his mind was a mess, a mess of wanting and not allowing himself to have, a mess of rules and walls and fear all jumbled up with an undeniable need that refused to subside. For the first time in his life, Zayn was actually making him consider the possibility of having sex just to have sex, of enjoying the pleasure of sleeping with someone he barely knew, just for the sake of pleasure, ignoring feelings._

_In silence, Liam tucked his dick in and buttoned his jeans. He left the bathroom without saying a word. That was the last time he let himself fall into Zayn’s arms. He didn’t trust his own restraint anymore._

~

“Sorry, I have a boyfriend” Liam lied. It was one of the usual lies in his repertoire to get rid of unwanted attention. And this guy was certainly unwanted. That was the worst part. He was horny and lonely and frustrated, he was actually considering looking for sex just for sex. Sex with a stranger to at least get rid of all his pent up sexual frustration, but the stupid truth was that he didn’t want any stranger. In that moment, dancing with that random guy he became painfully aware of how much he wanted just one person, one that was half a stranger and half the most familiar thing Liam had in years.

The guy (Mark? Matt?) turned around and walked away through the crowd, an apologetic look in his eyes. Now that getting into Liam’s pants wasn’t a possibility anymore he of course lost all interest. Fuck, actually meeting someone with the hopes of having something emotionally satisfying was almost an impossible task if he wasn’t willing to put out from the first second. Argh.

Liam ended up dancing alone, more frustrated than ever, almost pissed off. He cursed the moment he thought this was a brilliant idea on Harry’s part. It was the worst. The sexual heat in the air was not helping, the electric buzz in his veins wasn’t going anywhere, and there was nothing he could do about anything. Nothing but going home or keep dancing. So he danced.

He danced alone for a song or two, getting lost in the beat with his eyes closed, trying to get his mind off his stupid thoughts, until someone wrapped strong arms around him, planting firm hands on his chest, pulling back to make his body collide with a warm chest. Liam opened his eyes, startled, ready to fight whoever grabbed him like that. What the fuck. Only he never got to move, never got to turn around, because a very familiar voice whispered in his ear. “’S just me, babe. Relax…”

Fuck… Relaxation was the last thing in Liam’s mind. Zayn had just appeared out of nowhere, out of thin air, as if Liam would’ve conjured him with his mind. Zayn’s arms were around him, his hands open on his chest, warmth seeping through the thin vest he was wearing. Zayn’s chin was hooked over his shoulder, and he was moving slowly behind Liam, his body so close he could feel him everywhere.

Liam’s hand stopped midair after a failed attempt at ripping whoever was touching him off his body, and then it landed on top of Zayn’s on his chest, staying there, gripping hard. Liam’s mind started racing, his blood boiling. Was this actually happening? It was the first time he was letting Zayn touch him in weeks. It was the first time they were seeing each other outside of work. It was probably the most pathetically needy night in Liam’s life. This was unfair. This was fate playing dirty.

“What are you doing here? Stalking me?” Liam immediately asked, resorting to humor, deflecting.

Zayn chuckled. “You wish…” he whispered in Liam’s ear, never stopping the little movements of his hips against Liam’s body. So unfair. “I’m celebrating a friend’s birthday. Or well, I was, until I saw you here, dancing all by yourself. It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? I’m here now, with you. Just dance with me.” He asked with a smile Liam could barely see out of the corner of his eye. Like nothing was happening, like he wasn’t driving Liam insane, Zayn just kept moving, hands steady on Liam’s body.

Liam’s brain was screaming, reminding him of how this was surely going to end if he didn’t stop it. Liam’s body was screaming too, in its own way, reminding him the same thing but begging him to let it happen, swaying slowly, finding Zayn’s rhythm and following it, skin heating up, heart racing. The traitor.

“Y’came here alone?” Zayn asked, and Liam was pretty sure the jealous tone in Zayn’s words was all in his own mind. Right? Why would he care if Liam was with someone else? According to everyone at the office, Zayn fucked around, a lot. They were nothing. He had no right, no reason to be jealous. What the fuck.

“With a friend. Why?” Liam replied anyways. He didn’t even had the energy to play and pretend he was with someone else to see how Zayn would react. It was pointless. All of this was pointless and Liam made as much of an effort as he could to remind himself that.

“Because I want you all for myself.” Zayn said matter-of-factly, like it was obvious.

Liam frowned, turning his head a little to see Zayn better. “What does that even mean?” he asked, because he didn’t like how Zayn always messed with his head, saying those things, he didn’t like how he seemed to know just the right thing to say to send Liam’s mind reeling.

Zayn smiled, and simply moved his head to let his lips meet Liam’s skin, right on top of his shoulder. Liam shivered and felt his body melt, reacting to that kiss, sinking further between Zayn’s arms. “It means I would probably fight whoever dared touching you right now.” Zayn whispered when his little kisses reached the sensitive spot behind Liam’s ear. “It means no one else in this world wants you as much as I do. It means I could have this whole club at my feet and I wouldn’t care, I’d still want you. If this room was burning, I wouldn’t even notice. I just want you so bad…”

Liam sighed, completely powerless. Every time Zayn let him know how much he wanted him, Liam fell apart a little more because he couldn’t even remember the last time he felt so wanted, so desired. For short moments it was enough, even if it didn’t mean what he wanted it to mean. “How… how bad?” Liam asked, letting his head fall slowly backwards on Zayn’s shoulder.

Zayn didn’t stop moving, and Liam could feel his smile against his skin. He replied in that dark tone that drove Liam insane, whispering in Liam’s ear, touching him and hiding little kisses all over his exposed neck. “I want you so much I just can’t stop thinking about you. You and me, together, alone, having you all to myself… that’s all I keep thinking about, everything else just fades away, Li.” Their rhythm grew dirtier, the actual music completely forgotten, just background noise. One of Zayn’s hand moved lower, splaying across his stomach, following the slow movement of Liam’s body, pressing Liam against him with every sway. “I keep thinking of your hands touching me, your eyes saying things, I can’t concentrate, I… I want you so much I keep coming back even though you keep pushing me away… I want you so much I can’t even convince myself of thinking about anyone else…”

Liam frowned again, opening his eyes, not even remembering when he closed them. “Don’t… lie to me” he pled, because it had to be a lie, right?

Zayn’s other hand moved up on his chest, caressing Liam right on the spot where Liam’s heart was beating erratically. “I would never…” he promised. “Never have, never will.” Liam made an effort to find a lie, to find a reason not to believe Zayn, but there was none. He was right. He hadn’t lied, not once since they met. Maybe they kept most personal matters private, maybe they never had any real heart to heart, but Zayn had always been brutally honest about everything else, about his intentions and the way he felt about sex and love and about who he was as a person, never resorting to lies just to get into Liam’s pants, always respecting the distance Liam put. Not finding a reason to mistrust Zayn made Liam’s heart beat faster. “I want only you. Always did. Haven’t even touched anyone else since I met you. You drive me so crazy…” Zayn added, and Liam felt the honesty in his voice so clearly it was undeniable.

Liam fell silent for a few beats. He closed his eyes again, letting that confession sink in. Letting his entire world be rearranged because all the things he was so sure about all of a sudden were not so sure anymore and even though there was still a little voice reminding him this was a bad idea, his mind was beginning to align with his body, wanting the same thing. Wanting Zayn. All of Zayn. Beautiful body, brilliant mind and warm soul.

“What would you do? If I let you?” Liam asked, carried away by this sudden overwhelming need, feeling bold and desperate and beyond control.

He felt more than heard Zayn’s sigh, hot breath bathing his neck. “I would take you home right now, to my bed…” Zayn began, tightening his grip on Liam’s body, hand dropping from his stomach to grab his hip with fingers that fit so perfectly in that spot it should be impossible, fingertips slipping beyond the waist of Liam’s jeans to touch hot skin. “I would do all the things I know you would love. I know what you want and I’ve been waiting for so long… I would get you naked and I would kiss you until you can’t breathe anymore. Only then I would use my mouth and my fingers to open you up slowly and thoroughly, until you’re begging for more. And only then I would fuck you, deep, hard, so so good, I would give you every last little piece of me to make you come like no one ever did before. I know you want it… I know you feel it too…” Liam couldn’t even contain the moan that escaped his mouth, biting his lips, his hips moving more insistently against Zayn’s, finally feeling what he wanted to feel, Zayn’s hard length against his ass, perfect, setting his blood on fire, making his own cock fill up and stir awake.

That, of course, wasn’t all. Zayn never did things halfway, did he? “…and then…” Zayn added, with his lips against Liam’s skin. “…I would hold you in my arms when it’s over. I would beg you to stay the night and do it all over again in the morning; I would beg you to be mine as many times as you want because it would mean so much more than pleasure. It would be my way of showing you what I feel… for you…” Amid all the heat and the need, a tight knot closed Liam’s throat, stealing his breath. Those were… those were his own words. Zayn was repeating his own words back to him, almost to the dot. Zayn remembered them, Zayn… They meant something to Zayn. Fuck…

Liam’s heart started racing faster for two very different reasons. He was on fire, because he felt wanted in two very different ways, by the same person. The same person he wanted. The same person he tried not to fall for, the same person he tried not to feel anything for, yet here he was. Melting in his arms. Giving up.

After a moment of silence Zayn’s voice broke it, his hold on Liam all of a sudden more tender than sexual. “I know you have your rules, but we’ll watch them break tonight, babe. Let’s stop pretending, I… I want you in ways I never even expected, and I know you want me back. Please don’t push me away again. Please stop telling me those little white li--“ Liam didn’t even let him finish. He turned around in Zayn’s arms, and he kissed him, hard. He was beyond lying to himself anymore, he had no energy left to lie to Zayn too. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s body and pressed him close, letting all his frustration go, letting everything go, giving up the fight because there was nothing he wanted more in that moment than to surrender.

“Let’s get out of here…” Liam finally whispered against Zayn’s lips, smiling.

**~~~**


End file.
